Cracked
by MonkeyLovr
Summary: "She's alive! Call it a mother's intuition but I know she's alive!" When a terrible tragedy occurs, Aria is left distraught and skeptical. Nevertheless, she was determined to get answers. Her everlasting love for her baby pushes her to fight desperately for what she rightfully deserves...or so she thinks.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I shouldn't be starting a new story, but I couldn't help myself. It's my two year fanficversary, so I wanted to post something. And this idea has been in my head for the longest time and I'm really excited about this story. I hope you all like it too. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten my other stories.**

**Oh, almost forgot to thank someone. If it wasnt for my best friend and writing buddy, Valerie, I wouldn't even be on fanfiction. Or writing, for that matter. She always helps me, encourages me to write, and puts up with my constant complaining and whining, which no one would ever want to listen to. Y'all should see the emails between us. I honestly can't thank her enough. I can make this longer and shit, but lets not get sappy here. So lets just leave it at a thank you. Gracias, chica!**

**Disclaimer: I obvi don't own PLL.**

Ezra Fitz never thought he'd be where he was. Not once had he ever imagined he wouldn't be by his wife's side as they welcomed their first child into the world. And yet here he was, in the waiting room, and _not_ by her side. He'd been rushed out of her hospital room just a short ten minutes ago, yet it already felt like he was waiting for hours. Drumming his fingers anxiously along his thighs, he could only hope that both Aria and their baby would be alright.

"Hey," Spencer spoke gently. She took a seat beside him, rubbing soothing circles along his back. "They'll be fine." She assured. "Stuff like this happens all the time."

He gave her a friendly smile, as she continued the soothing circles.

"Family of Alison Dilaurentis?" Dr. Burnals called.

_Alison,_ right. He'd almost forgotten she was also at the hospital, giving birth to her child. He'd been so worried, so caught up with worrying about Aria, he honestly didn't remember about Alison. Poor girl; she'd been in labor since the day before, and last he heard, there hadn't been a change. It was funny how two best friends had both coincidentally gone through pregnancy at the same time, and were now giving birth at the same time as well. Sure, Alison's pregnancy had been the result of a drunken hook up, but since the day it was revealed she was pregnant, she changed completely. For the better, of course. She, just like Aria, had both been counting down the days to welcome their little bundle of joy.

"Yes?" All three girls stood simultaneously. "How is she?"

Dr. Burnals smiled. "I just got word from Dr. Samuels, and they're both perfectly fine."

"Both? The baby was finally born?" Hanna squealed.

He nodded. "You're more than welcome to see her. We just transferred her to a different room. Feel free to go whenever you get the chance."

"Thank you."

"Sir, what about my wife?" Ezra asked worriedly.

He sighed. "Mr. Fitz, it's not going easy. We're still monitoring her, but if things don't improve, we'll need to perform an emergency C-section."

Ezra felt an empty pit form in his stomach. "They'll both be fine, right?"

He sighed again. "I hope so. I have to go back in there. Don't worry, I'll try everything I can."

He nodded, whispering a quiet thank you.

"Any updates on Aria?" Emily asked.

He shook his head. "Just what they told me when they kicked me out. Dr. Burnals just told me they're still monitoring her. But she might end up needing an emergency C-section."

Emily shot him an encouraging smile. "Aria's strong. They'll both be OK."

"Thank you."

She nodded. "Um, are you alright by yourself for a little bit? We want to go check up on Ali, but one of us can stay with you."

"No. I'm fine. Go ahead. Send her my congratulations and tell her I'll be meeting her little one soon."

He watched them leave as he sat back down, burying his head between his shaking hands. He was happy for Alison, relieved even, that after almost twenty four hours in labor, she finally had that little blessing in her arms. But he had to admit he wished it was Aria who had their daughter in her arms. Wished her friends were not only going to see Ali, but Aria as well. She hadn't been in labor for more than two hours, but the last twenty minutes had been agonizing after finding out about her complications.

Fifteen minutes after he'd last seen Dr. Burnals, he came rushing out.

"Doctor." Ezra panted heavily. "How's Aria? How's the baby."

He rubbed his palms nervously along his lab coat."Come with me, I have something important to discuss with you."

* * *

><p>He walked into the room, eyes red and swollen from the devastating news he'd received just moments ago. His heart had never ached so much before. He'd never felt so much pain and anger in his life.<p>

"I'll come back soon, Mr. Fitz."

Ezra nodded, trying to hold back the threatening tears. His eyes wandered down to the sleeping figure. Her chest rising up and down with a steady rhythm. She looked so peaceful. So calm. So at peace not knowing what she'd have to face as soon as those eyes opened. He wasn't sure he'd be strong enough to do this. Everything he'd ever dreamed of, was crushed in a blink of an eye.

Wiping away some new tears, he bent down and kissed her forehead lovingly.

"We'll get through this." He whispered, his voice breaking. "We'll get through this." He repeated. "I promise."

He took a seat on the rocking chair, and watched her sleep. He'd promised her they'd get through this tragedy, but would they? Was he strong enough? He had to be. Whether he really was or wasn't, he had to find a way to act brave and strong. For her sake, he just had to.

A knock on the door, caused him to wake up. When had he fallen asleep? Rubbing his eyes, he stood up once he spotted Dr. Burnals.

"She still sleeping?" He asked.

Ezra nodded, as he stood and walked over to him. "She hasn't woken up at all."

Dr. Burnals was about to speak, when a small whimper got their attention.

"Ezra?" She whispered, her eyes still closed.

He rushed to her side, settling beside her as he held her hand.

"I'm right here." He leaned down, kissing her forehead softly.

Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and for a second, she didn't remember where she was. But not even five seconds later, it hit her hard. She panicked, instantly trying to get up.

"Hey, hey," Ezra spoke gently, in attempt to calm her down.

Her eyes filled with tears as she looked frantically around the room. "Where is she, Ezra?"

Her chest heaved as her eyes roamed the room in attempt to spot her daughter. "Where's our baby?"

Ezra's heart shattered to pieces, realizing it was now the moment he'd been dreading since he received the news. He searched for Dr. Burnals eyes, silently asking for his help.

"Where is she Ezra? I want to see her." She cried.

Ezra held her tighter, desperately trying not to break down in front of her. His attempts failed as his eyes were soon brimming with tears. Dr. Burnals walked over to them, taking a seat on the chair beside her bed.

"W-what's wrong? Dr. Burnals?" She panicked. "Why aren't either of you answering me?"

"Aria," He began. "As you might be aware, while you were delivering, we encountered some complications, and-"

"But my baby is fine, right?" She asked hopefully. "She's Ok, right?"

He sighed as he prepared himself to explain everything. Ezra held her tighter, wanting to hold and comfort her as best he could before she received the most devastating news.

"Your son was a stillborn." He explained. "I'm sorry."

As soon as Aria heard those words, her heart dropped, and everything around her froze. It couldn't be true.

"I know this is hard to un-" The doctor started to explain but was instantly interrupted by Aria.

"NO!" She whispered.

"Ar-"

"NO. You're lying." She screamed. "You're lying to me!"

"Aria." Ezra soothed, hugging her tighter.

She shrugged him off, releasing herself from his embrace. "You're both lying to me." She cried.

She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "It's not true. It's not. I wasn't pregnant with a boy, we were expecting a baby girl. So where is she? Stop lying to me, because it isn't funny."

"Doctors make mistakes on genders sometim-"

Aria shook her head vigorously. "NO!" Aria sobbed into Ezra's side. "Give me my daughter. I want to see her, _now _. Stop with this. Whatever prank you're trying to pull off, just stop. I-it isn't funny. I want my daughter." She repeated.

"Babe." Ezra cooed, stroking her hair gently. "You need to try to underst-"

"This is all a lie." She whimpered. "Our baby isn't dead, Ezra. She isn't. I heard her cries. I heard them."

Dr. Burnals shot Ezra a sympathetic look, as he held Aria. He felt terrible watching them both suffer. He felt _so_ sorry for them.

"Would you like to see him? Hold him before you say goodbye?" He asked after a while.

Aria shook her head once again, looking up at the doctor with eyes full of hurt and anger. "She's alive! Call it a mother's intuition but I know she's alive. She isn't dead."

After that, Aria spiraled out of control. Her cries and screams only increased, filling the small room. It broke Ezra's heart to see her hurting so much. Hated seeing her so small and vulnerable. Now was the time to act strong for her. No matter how bad he was hurting too, no matter how bad he wanted to break down with her as well, he couldn't. Within minutes, some nurses came in, ushering Ezra to the side as they attempted to calm her down. They gave her a sedative, and slowly, her cries and screams diminished. Her chest rose up and down rapidly, as she laid so hopeless in that bed.

"It's not true, Ezra. It isn't." She said faintly before her eyes drifted shut.

* * *

><p>Soon enough, a few hours had gone by, and as he sat on the rocking chair beside her bed, he realized it was now dark outside. He threw his head back, ignoring the pain he felt when it hit the hard wood. How could it be that their daughter, turned out to be a son? How was it, that their son, that precious little being he'd just seen, was gone before he even had the chance to live? All their hopes and dreams of raising their child, were crushed, so suddenly ripped away from them.<p>

It'd pained him—devastated him to witness what Aria had gone through earlier. Her screams of pain and denial had broken everything in him. He'd told her they'd be able to overcome this, but would they? People always said that the pain of losing a child, was one that would never be erased. He hoped they were wrong, because if he would have to live with this pain, he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it.

Telling their friends hadn't been easy at all. Being met with their excited gazes, filled with happiness, as he nervously walked out into the waiting room, was still pinned to his brain. The looks of sympathy that soon followed, were worse, seeing them every time he closed his eyes.

If he was being completely honest, he was jealous of Alison. He knew it was wrong of him, so wrong, but he was. He almost hated her in that moment. Hated her and her newborn daughter, who he hadn't even met. He was just so damn jealous and almost wished it was Alison going through this and not Aria. After all, Alison had been a terrible person for most of her life, and deserved something like this to happen to her. But Aria, who had been nothing but kind and caring, didn't deserve this. Alison had gotten lucky and rewarded with the most precious gift in the world— a precious healthy baby girl. And what did they get? A dead son.

"Why?" He whispered out loud, as if he would get an answer.

Why couldn't they ever be happy? Every time life seemed perfect for them, something had to go wrong. Every single fucking time. It was as if their happiness, every time they found it, was too good to be true. Life was never good to them. All their months of preparing the nursery, of preparing themselves, felt so useless now. Everything vanished into thin air in just a short amount of time. The day they had so desperately counted down to— the one day that was supposed to be the best and most magical day of a couple's life, became the absolute worst.

It just wasn't fair.

Just as his eyes were finally starting to close, a small whimper caused him to rush to Aria's side. "Shh." He cooed. "Shh."

Aria's whimpers grew as she tossed back and forth. Her eyes suddenly shot open, instantly filling with tears. She sat up, wrapping her arms around him. "Ezra." She whimpered into his chest. "Please tell me this was all a nightmare. Please tell me our daughter is Ok."

Ezra sighed, hugging her tighter, running soothing circles along her back. "Aria." He spoke softly. "I'm so sorry."

His own eyes filled with tears as he held his broken wife in his arms. "We'll get through this, I promise you."

She shook her head against his chest. "You don't get it, Ezra." She sounded so broken. "Our daughter is alive." She stated.

"Aria-,"

"Ezra, no. " She whispered, shaking her head vigorously. "You weren't there." She sobbed. "I heard her cry, Ezra. I heard our daughter cry."

Ezra sighed in defeat as he threw his head back into the pillow. This was going to be harder than he thought. Aria cried in his arms as he hugged her tighter. The tears he'd desperately tried to hold back, were becoming harder to fight. But he couldn't allow himself to cry. Aria didn't need to see him hurting. It would only make it worse for her.

"Why don't you believe me?" She asked suddenly, staring up at him with red puffy eyes. "Why?"

_Why? _Because it wasn't possible. He'd seen their dead son. He'd held him.

"Shh." He soothed, ignoring her question. "It will get better."

"Our baby can't be dead." She said, her broken voice making his heart ache.

Ezra kissed her forehead as he desperately tried to comfort her. Not even the warmth of his skin, his gentle kisses, nor his sweet words, seemed to be helping. But it didn't matter, he continued holding her.

"Have you seen him?" She whispered moments later.

Ezra let out a sigh of relief, glad she was slowly accepting their sons death. He tilted her head back, staring at her lovingly. He nodded. "Yes. H-he's beautiful."

This caused Aria to clutch Ezra tighter, as new tears fell from her eyes. "This isn't fair." She choked out. "He can't be dead, Ezra."

"I know, Aria, I know. But we will get through this. Together."

"Something in me is just telling me our baby isn't dead. I feel like,." She sniffled. "I don't know."

He kissed her forehead. "Dr. Burnals explained several mothers go through this. They have a hard time accepting their child's death. It's normal."

Aria shrugged, as she cried into his chest. "I just can't accept it, Ezra. I can't."

There was a brief knock on the door, before it swung open. "Aria." He said sympathetically. "How are you holding up."

Aria remained silent, only burying her face further into Ezra's neck.

"She just woke up." Ezra answered. "She seems better."

"That's good to hear." He smiled as he took a seat in front of them.

Aria unburied herself from Ezra, sitting up against the pillows. "W-what happened? What did I do wrong?"

"Aria," Dr. Burnals spoke gently. "This wasn't in anyway your fault. This happens often, there's no one to blame."

Aria only whimpered into Ezra's chest. It _was_ her fault. She must have done something wrong. Ezra whispered words of encouragements into her ear, as he ran his hand soothingly up and down her arm.

"I'll leave you two alone." The Dr. announced as he walked towards the door.

Wiping away her tears, she looked up at him. "Dr. Burnals?"

"Yes?"

She sniffled, preparing herself to speak. "C-can I see him?"

**A/N: Soooo? Yay or nay? What did you guys think? Please review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, follows and faves on the first one. Enjoy!**

After the Doctor had excused himself, Aria laid silent and nervous on her hospital bed. Her heart and brain still refused to accept that her baby, _their_ baby was dead. That tiny little being they had created months ago, would never get the chance to live, to be with them. She didn't care that he'd been a boy. None of that mattered to her. All she wanted was their child with them—alive. And that was something she'd never get.

Ezra's grip tightened around her shaking hands. Dr. Burnals had been gone for a while, and that meant the time to meet their son was fast approaching. She blinked back the tears furiously, not wanting to cry just yet. But she knew in a matter of minutes, when that little boy would be resting in her arms, she'd break down completely. Ezra lips pressed against her forehead, as he ran his hand up and down her arm soothingly. A knock on the door made Aria's heart rate double in speed, as the tears fast formed in her eyes.

"I'm right here, Aria." Ezra whispered.

Aria nodded against him. Dr. Burnals walked in, two nurses following behind him. A heartbreaking gasp escaped from her chapped lips as she spotted the blue bundle in one of the nurse's arms. Her chest heaved as she walked towards her, the blue bundle becoming more visible.

"You can do this." Ezra encouraged.

The nurse reached the side of the bed, placing the small baby in her arms. It only took that for Aria's sobs to fill the small room. Ezra had never seen her cry so much. He couldn't take it anymore. Holding back the tears seemed impossible at this time. Having his wife beside him, with their son, their _dead _ son, was too much for him to handle. No matter how hard he fought it, he just couldn't stop himself from crying.

"I'll be back." Dr. Burnals briefly announced, before exiting the room.

Aria's trembling hands traced every inch of her son's face. The cries that came from her were so heartbreaking, making Ezra's heart ache more by the second. She brought her head down, placing a series of kisses over his closed eyes, his small nose, and chubby cheeks. Ezra looked at the little moment between them and wiped away his tears, wanting so desperately to make them stop.

"He's so beautiful." Aria whimpered.

She placed a lingering kiss on his tiny forehead, taking his small motionless hand in hers. "I'm so sorry, baby boy." She whispered. "So sorry."

She cried harder, not wanting to believe all this was true. It just couldn't be true. He looked so peaceful—looked like he was just taking his afternoon nap. But he wasn't. He wouldn't wake up in a few hours. He wouldn't _ever_ wake up. He was _dead_. Gone. Taken from them so suddenly.

"I can't, Ezra." She simply said. "This hurts too much."

Ezra's arms tightened around her, as he placed a soothing kiss atop her head. She cried into his embrace, her tears staining his shirt. That baby in her arms—their son—would never get the chance to open his eyes. She'd never know whether his eyes were hazel like her own, or the mesmerizing blue his father had. They'd never see him smile, see him grow. She'd never be able to breastfeed him. All those moments new parents looked forward to, was something they wouldn't ever get to experience. And thinking about that, absolutely broke her heart.

"I love you so much, baby." She murmured against his forehead.

Somehow, she still couldn't accept the fact their child was dead. Even though he was currently resting in her arms, she couldn't grasp the idea of her baby being dead. But looking down at the lifeless little human being, made it all so real. Made her realize it was true. Her baby was dead. She gave him one last kiss before handing him to Ezra. Reaching over, she wiped away the tears that were still falling freely down his face.

"I'm so sorry, Ezra." She whimpered.

Ezra took his free arm, bringing her as close to him as possible before tilting her chin up. "Aria, you have no reason to apologize. This wasn't your fault. Please believe that."

Aria shook her head as she blinked away the tears. "I can't help but feel like it was." She confessed.

"It wasn't Aria, please believe that."

Her only response was to snuggle closer to him. The little family laid in silence on the small bed, the only sound in the room was that of their quiet cries and sniffles. Aria couldn't stop staring at her little boy, wanting to memorize every little feature on his delicate face before he was taken from them. In just a few hours, she'd have to say goodbye to him—not ever getting the chance to see him again.

A few short few minutes later, Dr. Burnals came back in. He smiled softly at them, as he took a seat next to them. "Are you guys doing alright?" He asked sympathetically.

What kind of question was that? Of course they weren't doing alright. Their son was dead. But instead of saying anything else, they both just gave him a small nod.

"We can discuss what will happen whenever you're ready. It's getting late. Would you like to have him sleep in here with you?"

Aria's eyes lit up at his offer. She didn't think that would be possible. "Can he?"

He smiled. "Of course. I'll have a nurse bring in a bassinet."

"Thank you."

Ezra left shortly after, grabbing them both a late dinner. When he was gone, he gave her friends a quick call to fill them in on how Aria was doing. Earlier that day, they'd wanted to see her, but both him and the doctor had agreed it was better she didn't get any visitors just yet. He thought about stopping by to visit Alison, after all, the girls were still there. But he knew he couldn't—at least not yet. His emotions were all over the place, and seeing Alison with her daughter, would make the fact that their baby was dead a lot worse.

"Hey, I got us some soup, I hope that's alright." Ezra announced as he walked in.

Aria nodded, shooting him a small smile. "Soup is perfect."

Ezra placed a kiss on his son's forehead, then hopped on the bed beside Aria. They ate their dinner in complete silence, only holding each other every now and then. No words could be spoken among the couple. Talking about it, would only make it all the more real.

"You should get some rest." Ezra suggested minutes later, jumping off the bed, and throwing their containers away.

He was right. She was emotionally and physically drained. She knew she needed rest, but she couldn't, not when her son was lying a few feet away from her. But she didn't want to worry Ezra anymore. So for his sake, she agreed.

"Ok."

He helped her settle under the covers, and placed a short kiss on her lips before walking over to the pull out bed. Aria watched him closely. He'd been trying so hard to act strong, but she knew better than that. Just like she was, he was hurting too. His eyes were filled with so much sadness. It was her fault. She'd caused all this hurt. She'd taken his firstborn son from him—from them. How could he even look at her right now? Be so understanding and gentle with her? They kept telling her it wasn't her fault, they assured her countless times, but just like she'd told Ezra, she felt so guilty.

Their son was dead. That was the only truth. She'd seen and held him, but a part of her would _never _accept it. She stepped out of bed, and quietly walked over to the bassinet. As she stood staring at his angelic little face, the memories of when she first found out she was pregnant flooded her memory.

_Aria nervously shoved four pregnancy tests into her basket. For the past two weeks, she'd felt terrible: not being able to hold anything down, getting nauseous just by looking at food, and an overwhelming amount of fatigue. Not to mention, she was late—almost three weeks late._

_Her heart fluttered at the thought of actually being pregnant. It was the perfect time. She was out of college, married, and twenty four years old. It seemed ideal to start a family. Her and Ezra had talked about it before, but never went too much into it. They both knew they wanted kids, and both agreed they'd gladly accept them whenever they came. To think that day could be today, made her so emotional. __Having a little piece of Ezra growing inside her, knowing they'd both created that little baby, swelled her heart. She made her way to the first available cashier, and quickly purchased the pregnancy tests._

_Fifteen minutes later, she sat anxiously waiting for the beeps that would come from the tiny devices._

_Beep Beep._

_She let out a heavy breath as she flipped all of them over without looking at them. With one final breath, she looked down and smiled at all four positive signs staring back at her. Tears of joy fell freely from her eyes. Words couldn't describe how happy she was. The thought of telling Ezra gave her butterflies—the good kind—knowing how happy he'd be as well._

_It was only two. She had four hours before he came. The announcement had to be perfect._

_~cracked~_

_Ezra walked up to his front door. He couldn't wait to see Aria. It'd been such a stressful day at work and he was so glad to finally be home. When he opened the front door he was surprised to see it was dark. He flipped the lights on, and called out for Aria but instead, a bouncy ball bounced to him. There was a note attached to it. He opened it, and read it slowly._

_**Let's play a game. Get all of the answers right, and you just might just get a surprise.**_

_Ezra smiled, he loved this side of Aria. 'A surprise' usually meant her greeting him in lingerie or in nothing._

_**First, go into my studio, answer the question right, and you'll get the next clue.**_

He dropped his messenger bag quickly, and rushed to her studio. There was a yellow balloon sitting at her desk. Attached to it, was yet another note.

_**When's our Wedding anniversary? Answer it out loud. I'm somewhere around here.**_

_That was easy._

"_June 23rd."_

_He waited patiently, before his remote control truck came into the room. Attached to it was another note._

_**Great. It's good that you remember, otherwise I would've had to punish you ;).**_

_** Now, go into the kitchen.**_

_He followed every one of her clues—and there were several of them. He was currently in the guest room, staring at the toy doll on the bed. The next clue stated that if he could get the diaper on the baby correctly, he'd get the next clue. Sometimes he wondered how Aria's mind worked. Some of the stuff she'd made him do, were completely pointless. Why couldn't they just have sex? Simple as that._

"_Okay." He whispered._

_Finally, after struggling, he managed to put it on correctly. He gasped in shock when something hit the back of his head. It was a paper airplane. He unfolded and read._

_**A baby bear is called a cub, and a baby sheep a lamb. A dog is a puppy, and a cat, a kitty. But what about a baby goat? Answer it out loud, and you'll finally get your surprise.**_

_Really? Why was she testing him. His brain was all fried up, he couldn't think. _

"_A kid." He said out loud as it finally came to him._

_Suddenly, Aria came through the door and smiled at him. _"_Good, cuz we're having one of those in a few months. Surprise."_

_His eyes widened as she came close to him, holding the pregnancy test in her hands._

"_I'm pregnant." She announced proudly._

_He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her. They were both so happy, both beyond excited that they were finally going to be parents._

"_I love you." He simply told her._

That memory was pinned to her brain. All that happiness and excitement, didn't matter now. They wouldn't be parents anymore. She carefully reached down to pull her son out of his bassinet. She paced around the room quietly, leaning down to kiss him, and then she kissed him again. She couldn't seem to stop kissing him. By tomorrow, she'd never feel his soft baby skin against her lips. She took a seat on the rocking chair. Sleep wasn't a priority tonight, wanting all the time she could get with him. A sad smile broke out on her lips as she recalled all the times she'd sing to her belly. One song in particular stood out to her more. It was one she'd never go a day without singing to their child. And now, thinking about that song, made her heart ache.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." She began singing softly. "You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you."

She paused, not being able to hold back the tears any longer. She sobbed softly into her son's tiny limp body—cried with so much pain and emotion, it became hard to breathe.

She sniffled, her voice breaking. "Please don't take my sunshine away."

Her voice shook as she continued singing. "The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "So I hung my head and cried."

The truth behind those lyrics broke everything in her. From now on, every memory, every dream she had of holding her son, would be just that, because she'd no longer be able to hold her little blessing.

Wiping away her tears, she bent down and kissed her son again for the hundredth time that night and finished the song. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, y-you make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you,"

She sighed and stroked his head as she whispered the last line. "Please don't take my sunshine away."

But her sunshine had already been taken away.

"I'll _always _love you, my sweet boy."

She leaned back, and cried. Now was the time to do it. No one was watching. As tired as she was, she wouldn't fall asleep—she couldn't. If she only had a few more hours with her son, she'd make the best of them.

**A/N: So, Aria has finally accepted their son's death...or has she really? Anyways, please let me know what you thought about this chapter! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry for not updating earlier, but im always so busy. I'm working on Two Pieces of a Broken Heart, so that should be up soon as well. **

**Sidenote... I MET LUCY AGAIN! Last Wednesday! It was like a five second meet and greet and the radio ppl were rushing us, I didn't even get to talk to her or tell her I'd met her before, but it was still soo awesome! She sounds soo good live! I honestly wanna go back and relive that day. It was a great concert, haha funniest part of it was when a girl when onto the stage. But of course, Lucy was so sweet about it. **

**Ok, enough of my chatting and hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Ezra hadn't gotten any sleep the previous night. When Aria thought he was sleeping, he wasn't actually. He just wanted to give her time to be with their son. It nearly broke him in two when he heard her piercing sobs fill the small hospital room, yet he still continued to pretend he was sleeping. It was two hours later when he woke up from a slumber he didn't even realize he'd been taking. Their son laid across Aria's chest, her arms wrapping tightly around him. Her eyes were closing, but she'd open them as soon as she felt them close.

Even after telling her to get some rest, she refused. So they had both spent the night laying on the hospital bed, with their little angel tucked in Aria's arms.

"Good Morning." Dr Burnals greeted as he came in.

"Good morning." Ezra replied.

"How much longer do I have with him?" Aria instantly asked.

"It all depends. We need to discuss what will happen."

"What do you mean?"

"Parents always have the choice to spend time with their child, call family and friends, take pictures, the list could go on. Then we can prepare for the burial service."

Aria nodded as new tears filled her eyes. "I can't face my parents—or my friends." She whispered.

"You can, Aria." He assured. "Don't worry. They will understand." He paused. "There's also some paperwork you need to fill out." He informed them of a few more things before heading out.

"I think it's time we call everyone." Ezra suggested.

Aria nodded, trying to hold back tears. "Alright." She whispered.

Ezra placed their son back in the bassinet. Ten minutes later, he came back in with the paperwork.

"Everyone will be here at about 10. They're visiting Alison as well."

Right. She didn't even remember about her. Perfect Allison and her perfect child. Aria tried to suppress her jealousy, tried not to feel that inevitable resentment. It was just so difficult, but she knew she should be a good friend and be happy for Alison.

"How is she?"

"Last I heard, she's doing good."

"Have you seen her?"

He shook his head. "Not yet."

Aria nodded.

"We should fill this out before they come." He offered as he sat beside her.

"Ok." She whispered.

"I know we never discussed names for boys, but do you have a name in mind?"

Aria wiped away her tears as she shrugged. Ezra held her close, kissing the top of her head softly.

"It's ok, babe. We can do this later."

She shook her head against his chest. "L-lets do it now."

"Ok."

Aria thought about millions of names, until a perfect one came to mind.

"What about Jay?" She asked.

Ezra smiled. Of course she'd pick a name from the _Great Gatsby_.

"I think it's perfect."

"Middle name?"

"What about Atticus?" He asked with a slight grin. They were such literature nerds, choosing favorite names from old classics.

"Jay Atticus Fitz." Aria tested. "I love it." She whispered softly.

Ezra leaned down and kissed her forehead, wiping away her tears. "Me too."

* * *

><p>Alison stared down at the tiny little girl in her arms. She was such a beautiful little girl. Everything about her was so perfect. Her tiny little features melted her heart. She was honestly the tiniest little person she'd ever seen. Not even her cousins, which she'd held numerous times had been so small. She was born weighing just six pounds two ounces, and being eighteen inches in length. She was just so precious, and Alison had fallen in love with her from the moment she was first placed in her arms.<p>

The newborn opened her eyes and instantly, Alison's heart swelled even more. The baby soon started fussing, and her small whimpered cries filled the room. Since she'd been born, she'd been crying non stop when she was awake. All newborns were surely like that, right?

"Shh, shh." Alison cooed. "You're alright."

The newborn's cries only increased.

"Are you hungry?" She asked. "You are? Well we better get you some food."

Alison grabbed the bottle on the stand next to her hospital bed. It wasn't as if she didn't want to breastfeed, but her daughter had refused to drink unless it was a bottle. The little girl suckled on the bottle hungrily, making gurgily sounds as she did so.

"Slowdown, baby." Alison laughed.

As soon as she finished her bottle, her cries filled the room once again.

"What wrong, Isabelle?" She asked, getting up and rocking the crying infant in her arms. "Please stop crying."

Isabelle's cries soon turned into soft whimpers before her eyes slowly drifted peacefully shut. Alison sighed in relief as she placed her in the bassinet.

"I love you so much." She confessed. "Just two more days until we're home, Isabelle Emery. I can't wait." She smiled.

Alison made herself comfortable on her bed once again. She hated hospitals. But because Isabelle's blood sugar levels had been low, they had to keep her a while to monitor and make sure everything was well.

Her smile soon faded as she thought about Aria and Ezra. Her heart ached for them. She knew how excited both of them had been throughout her pregnancy. And now, they were both so broken. She wanted to go see them—show them she was there for them—but she couldn't. Her doctor had advised rest, but not only that. She just simply wouldn't know what do or say. She knew her friends were going to see her later today. She wanted to as well. But she simply couldn't. It'd be hard to talk to Aria. She'd heard from her friends she was a mess ever since she received the news and Alison didn't want to make matters worse.

Ezra had said he'd come see her and her daughter the day before. He hadn't. And honestly, she wished he wouldn't. She would not be able to handle the situation. She'd worry she'd say the wrong thing, make him feel worse than he already was. Honestly, she just wanted to be alone with Isabelle. Her friends had been supportive and great company but she enjoyed her alone time with her daughter.

"Two more days." She whispered to herself.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Hanna whispered as she walked in.<p>

"Hi." Aria simply replied.

"We brought take out." Spencer announced. "We figured you two are tired of hospital food."

"Thanks." Ezra smiled weakly.

There was a long silence between the five of them. None of her friends knew what to do or say. They didn't want to say something that might upset Aria.

"We're so sorry." Emily whispered finally.

It took only that for Aria to breakdown in front of her three best friends. They tried their best to comfort her, but her cries didn't seem to stop. She couldn't describe her feelings. Having her friends there, somehow made it much worse.

"Shh." Spencer cooed.

"It just hurts so much." Aria cried. "It isn't fair. It just isn't fair."

"We know."

"I just can't believe it. That precious little baby I carried inside me for nine months, is gone. I won't ever get to hold him, or kiss him, or sing to him again. He's gone. _Dead_."

"We know this is hard, and I wish I could help you feel better." Hanna cried.

"T-thanks. But nothing will take this pain away. My baby Jay won't ever get to go home with us. After Friday, he'll be buried six feet underground and I won't ever get to see his precious little face again." She sobbed.

Her friends continued to comfort her, as her cries slowly started diminishing.

"I'm sorry." Aria apologized, wiping away her tears. "Sorry for breaking down like this."

"You don't have to apologize." They said sympathetically. "You're hurting, and it's okay."

"My heart just feels so shattered. I feel like it's not true. That our baby isn't dead. I'm trying, I'm trying to cope with this and to move on, but it's just so hard. It doesn't seem real, doesn't feel right. I thought we were going to be the perfect family."

"I know, Aria. I know." Emily soothed.

"I just wish I had more time with him. Tonight is my last night with him and his funeral is at the end of the week and I don't know how I'm gonna be able to get through that."

"We'll be right by your side, Aria." They promised.

Aria nodded as she wiped away the last of her tears. "D-do you want to meet him?"

Her friends nodded eagerly, wiping away their own tears. Ezra brought the motionless little boy over, and instantly, the girls hearts broke into pieces. They couldn't believe it. They felt terrible their friends had to experience something so heartbreaking.

"He is so beautiful." Hanna whispered, as she held the boy in her arms.

"Hi Jay" Spencer cooed once he was in her arms. "I'm your auntie Spencer, and we all love you so much. We'll love you forever and never forget you, sweetie."

Aria's heart swelled at the sight of her friends interacting with her dead baby. They loved him, just like she did. She wished she could go back in time and prevent this. Wish she had control over it. She just wanted her baby boy, and she wouldn't ever get him.

* * *

><p>It was nearing nine, when her friends left. Once they did, she felt so empty again. Her friends had been a distraction for all those hours, but now, she honestly just felt like dying.<p>

They'd said their goodbyes to Jay a few hours before. It was the most painful goodbye she'd ever have to go through. Her piercing sobs were still ringing in her ears. Ezra had tried so hard to fight the tears, but just like her, he was saying goodbye to their son, and that was not something easy to do.

She looked over at Ezra, who sat on the recliner chair, trying desperately not to fall asleep. He'd been more than she could ever ask for. From his attempts to make her feel better, to him simply just holding her, she was so thankful she had him as a husband.

"Babe?" She called.

Ezra's closing eyes instantly shot open, and he rushed to her side.

"Yeah? Are you Ok? Do you need something?"

"No." She answered. "C-can you just lie here with me." Her voice broke. "I need you."

Ezra held back the tears as he nodded and comfortably sat beside her. Aria instantly snuggled into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"I-i love you, Ezra. Thank you for being such a wonderful person."

"I love you, and would do anything for you."

She made herself more comfortable against him.

"I just don't want to believe it's true."

"I know. Me either. But our baby boy is in paradise now. He'll always be with us, in our hearts."

Aria didn't respond. Only laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. "Will this ever get better?"

Ezra sighed before kissing her head softly. "I don't know. But we'll get through this." He promised. "Together."

He only hoped his words were true.

**A/N: Geez, I feel like I needa make this story happier. Anyways, please review and let me know what ya think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** **Thanks for all the reviews! I was going to post Sunday, but the football game got distracting. Can I just say how proud I am of the Seahawks? The game was epic! And so happy were super bowl bound..AGAIN! Anyways, please enjoy this chapter!**

Aria walked into her house, Ezra following close behind her. It felt so different than it had just a short three days ago. Three days ago, joy and happiness was all that filled the air. Now, all she felt, was the cold and emptiness she was hit with as soon as she walked through that door.

Hugging her arms around small body, she slowly walked into their living room, throwing herself on the couch instantly. Ezra placed the small duffle bag on the recliner chair before taking a seat beside her. No words were spoken between the two as they comfortably sat in silence. Aria rested her head on his shoulder, as he wrapped his strong arms tightly around her. Minutes later, he felt his thin shirt slightly soaked, and realized she'd been silently crying. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he carefully unwrapped his arms from around her.

"Babe, why don't you get some sleep while I make us lunch, okay?"

Aria nodded, extending her short legs on the couch, and resting her head comfortably on one of the couch pillows.

"Thank you." She whispered, wrapping the blanket tightly around her shaking body.

When she woke up, it was already dark outside. Letting out a yawn, she slowly sat up.

"Hey, you're finally awake." Ezra smiled as he looked up from his book.

"What time is it?" She asked, her voice still hoarse.

"Almost six. I didn't want to wake you earlier. Food is on the stove, I can go heat you up a plate."

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

Ezra placed his book down and sat down beside her. "You have to eat something."

She picked at her nails, fighting back the tears.

"Please. Whatever you want, but please eat something."

She nodded." Okay. Can I have some cereal?"

Ezra gave her a small smile. "I'll be back in a second."

* * *

><p>A sudden laughter coming from the television screen awoke Ezra from his peaceful slumber. Rubbing his eyes gently, he glanced down at the sleeping woman in his arms. He almost didn't want to wake her, but she needed to get a good nights sleep in the comfort of her bed.<p>

It was only eight-thirty, but the past few days had been so exhausting, that an early night sounded amazing. Looking back down at her, he figured he'd just carry her upstairs instead of waking her up. As he tried to slowly unwrap himself from her, he felt her stir in his arms. Her eyes shot open immediately, and she smiled up at him.

"Hey." She whispered softly. "What time is it?"

"Eight-thirty. Do you want to head up now?" He asked. "I'm exhausted."

She nodded. "Sure."

Ezra locked everything up before heading up stairs. When they reached the top, Aria froze. In order to get to her room, she'd have to go past the nursery, something she didn't want to do. Not yet at least.

"Ezra?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Um- can you close the door to the nursery?" She asked.

He gave her a quick nod and did as told, before interlacing his fingers with hers, and leading them into their bedroom.

"I'll get the bed ready while you get ready for bed." He offered.

She thanked him with a nod, before heading into their bathroom. Five minutes later, she came back out, dressed in one of his shirts and some shorts. She pulled her hair back in a bun, before settling under the covers.

By the time Ezra joined her, a short ten minutes later, Aria's soft snore were already filling the room.

"I love you so much, Aria." He whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Stay strong."

He laid beside her, and wrapped his arms protectively around Aria. It wasn't too long after that he too fell into a much needed peaceful slumber.

* * *

><p>"Aria, babe, time to get up." Ezra whispered softly.<p>

Aria remained silent, not willing to let herself open her eyes, knowing that once she did, there would be no stopping the tears. It had been like this since she first came home from the Hospital a few days ago.

"Aria?"

Ezra sighed, taking a seat beside her. "Hey, I know this is hard, but I'm right here. I'll be by your side the entire time. We can do this, Aria. Together."

She shifted so she was facing him, and slowly, her big doe eyes opened. As soon as they locked with Ezra's, her eyes welled up with new tears, almost instantly cascading down her pale cheeks.

Ezra placed a loving kiss on her forehead, hoping that his touch would at least give her some comfort. It seemed to work, as she wrapped her tiny arms around him.

"I can't do this." She whimpered into his neck. "I can't."

His own eyes were brimming with tears, but he did his best to not break down in front of her. He couldn't. Gently wiping away the tears with his thumb, he tilted her chin up staring down into her broken gaze.

"We can do this. I'm right here. I'll never leave your side, okay?"

Aria nodded. "Okay."

"I prepared a bath for you. Why don't you relax for a bit, while I make us breakfast?"

She nodded. "Thank you."

"Of course."

* * *

><p>Headstones. What do they say? Something like: Here lies Scarlett Kelly, beloved mother, daughter, and sister. 1963-2014.<p>

It's not the words that matter; rather it's the dates. In particular, it's the dash between the dates. They stand for the person's life, representing their accomplishments, their failures, their legacies. The family they left behind, and the family they'd inevitably joined. The dash and all it stands for would become the ways in which the grieving family would find solace and take comfort in.

"He was too young, but we can take comfort in the fact that he's in a better place now." Somebody was saying. One by one, people offered cliches intended to comfort.

But what about Jay? 2018-2018? It was ridiculous when you really thought about it. What would the dash stand for except the several hours she'd spent with him. She'd carried him for nine months, but when it came down to it she'd never known him. She'd never know if he preferred blue or green, if he'd come to show a love for soccer, or perhaps a passion for reading. Would his favorite food be mac and cheese or chicken nuggets?

They'd never know. Her child had been, and forever would be, a stranger to them.

Funerals were for the living, for them to remember and celebrate the person they'd loved and lost. But despite all their best efforts, nobody had anything substantial to say about Jay.

_Stop! _Aria wanted to cry. All of their words were useless. Cliched and ultimately useless. How could they celebrate somebody nobody had ever known?

* * *

><p>Hand wrapped around Ezra's, she watched as the tiny white casket was lowered into the ground. Flowers were thrown on top. And as the dirt began to cover what lay inside, something passed over her. Something she brushed off in that instant.<p>

It took her until she was home to notice. Ezra had started arranging food on plates, and for the first time the smells of it, no longer sickened her.

Closure. That's what it was. All her life she'd heard of it, only knowing it as an abstract concept. But now she knew. It didn't particularly feel good, didn't feel good at all, but it wasn't bad either. Slowly everything became clear.

Maybe it was what they all needed.

**A/N: So shorter chapter than usual, but It's been too long since I last posted. Hope y'all still enjoyed it. And has Aria really found closure? Please review!**


End file.
